Mastering the Art of Snapping

When someone questions the obvious give
them back a snappy answer

Snappy Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Snappy Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied,
"No ma'am, they're dead."

Snappy Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day,"
The cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads
"Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Snappy Answer #5
A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without
hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.
"May I have your attention please," she began her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14." With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore.
"F*** you!"
Without flinching, she smiled and said,
"I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that, too."

And the VERY BEST snappy answer ....
Snappy Answer #6, THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its Best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says,

"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

VIEW MY LOVE LETTER

Click Here...

i'm really trying to understand her but...

This is the forwarded message

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20 grams to 500 grams.
The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If
I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with
the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"

And this was her reply

Jamkablam,

Its logical and relieving to put down the glass of
water sometimes.
But the challenge I think is in holding on...
dance, sing, smile,
think of strategies on how to endure the pain while
holding the glass of water.........
...coz when you put it down it increases the
probability of it being broken,
and a cut from a broken glass i think would hurt
even more....
we have the option to put down the glass too and
leave it ..
but when it breaks,
we'll never know who will get hurt...
Yes, put it down sometimes with care and in safe
places......
it will totally be ok...
but if time pushes you to hold on .....hold on to it
!... familiarize with the pain......it will never
easy....
but you can learn from each moment it hurts...

...soon the water is gone..... it will
evaporate....hehe
...but before it does, put some ice and drink it all
the way for a refreshing moment........

then start all over again.........hehe. Lets drink to
all our stress!!!!! Cheers!!!!

Thanks Jam for this sweet reminder and for holding my
glass of water sometimes.

punyemas yan. mga jorg balisang balisa na ako (parang isda)! nagpapa-F.A. ulit si Ms. Marian pero guess what.....

WALA AKONG ARTIST. Nag iisa lang sya dito nagmomovie guide.
Ayoko namang ma round house kick ni ate jossa noh pag sumingit ako.
Ano bang solusyon sa problema kong ito? Turuan nyo nalang akong mag F.A.


Polly, thanks for the post. Makakatulong yun ng marami.

Porque.. Porke... Pork... BABOY SILANG LAHAT!

Guys... hindi poque't boss kayo, wala na kayong coordination..!

Hindi rin maganda yung ihaharap nyo sa kliyente yung taong walang alam sa pinag usapan nyo..

At higit sa lahat... hindi porque't bading ka, maganda ka.*

*in behalf of jossa

resignation

The timing may never be always right, nor everything will always be perfect. But it is life’s imperfection, that makes life perfect.

It has been my second school, where I harnessed my skills and talents, growing along the way. And I am proud to be part of it. The experience that I had with the company, as well, with everyone else, who has shared their precious talents, knowledge, time and camaraderie, will always be remembered and cherished.

With all honesty and sincerity, I would like to express my deepest gratitude for your compassionate leadership, and to those people who challenged, taught, valued and nurtured my passion as an artist and taught me, not just the ways of the industry, but life as well.

I am hereby formally submitting my resignation.

May I take this opportunity, to thank you and hope for the company’s continued success. In a classroom called life, lessons were not merely learned in books, it’s from experience. It is said that the only constant thing in this world is change. But, be reminded that, it is a two-edge sword, it can be for better or for worse, either way, it serves its purpose – to learn.

Thank you.

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ANG LUNGKOT

DITO SA SAUDI!!

Sulatan nyo
naman kami...